Local News

JB Green Team Releases Crying Squirrel Logo After Lawsuit
ST CLAIRSVILLE - Following the announcement of a lawsuit filed in Belmont County against JB Green Team, the company released a new logo in a plea for sympathy.
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Massive Traffic Light Causes Grief in Wheeling
WHEELING - Residents of Wheeling are speaking out against what they say is a major inconvenience to daily life. The 300-foot-tall traffic light on Chapline Street is said to blind drivers and cast a glaring red, yellow or green glow across the city.
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Jefferson County Inmates Hold Walkout
STEUBENVILLE - Inmates at the Jefferson County Jail in Steubenville are not happy about their living conditions, and they let city leaders know by holding a walkout. 62 prisoners reportedly left the building and walked down the street to the Jefferson County courthouse to peacefully protest.
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Local Man Won't Buy Anything Until He Checks Doan Ford
STEUBENVILLE - Family members of Don Larson (pictured right) are voicing their concerns over the 42-year-old's obsession with Doan Ford.
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Jefferson County Set For Name Change
STEUBENVILLE - The Jefferson County Department of Development announced today that Jefferson County will change its name to "Northwestern Mutual County" on March 1st, as part of a new sponsorship program aiming to spark economic development. Director Wallace Brown said that the decision was easy to make.
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Valley Favors Regression to Middle Ages

THE COMMENTS SECTIONS OF LOCAL NEWS ARTICLES -- People who are probably important from Wheeling Jesuit University said that they have conducted a study on the comments sections of News 9 and News 7, and have concluded that the majority of people in the Ohio Valley would prefer to live in the year 1373.
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via Google Street View

New Stop Sign is Only a Suggestion
CADIZ - The intersection of Industrial Park Road and Grant Street in Cadiz has been the location of several car accidents. Cadiz officials recently placed a 'stop suggestion' sign on the intersection. Cadiz police chief Ryan McCann says that the sign is meant to make people drive safer while not necessarily getting on their nerves.
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Steubenville Cops Bored of Shootings
STEUBENVILLE - In a press conference early Saturday morning, Steubenville police chief Bill McAfferty urged local criminals to be more creative.
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Jeff Henry Awaits Call Near Mojave Desert Phone Booth
MOJAVE DESERT - Jeff Henry, police chief from St. Clairsville, was spotted somewhere in the desolate Mojave Desert near a run-down, but functional phone booth. Henry told reporters he was awaiting a call from a man who calls himself the 'Mysterious Stranger'.
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Channel 7 Changes Name to WTF News
WHEELING - Citing a need to expand the station's audience, WTRF officials announced today that they will change the channel's format yet again. In an interview with himself Monday afternoon, Tate Blanchard said that News 7 was granted permission by the FCC to drop the 'R' from 'WTRF'.
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Oglebay Opens New Gay Zoo
WHEELING - The Good Zoo at Oglebay opened the world's first zoo exclusively for animals in the LGBT community. The 65-acre zoo stands alone from the original, and is more than twice the size. Volunteers from the Good Zoo say that they feel like some of the animals felt out of place in their original homes.
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'6 Steps to Outliving Your Kids' Program Announced
WEIRTON - Officials at the Weirton Medical Center raised eyebrows Thursday when they announced a week-long seminar on living longer than your children. The program, spearheaded by neurologist Joseph Wapenski, is open to the public and begins on October 6.
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Check Out These Valley Celebs Before Photoshop!
THE WOMAN YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW
News 7's Rachael Dierkes grew up right here in the valley down in Shadyside, but have you ever noticed anything strange? It takes lots of makeup to hide it, but Dierkes was actually born with a rare condition known as face inversion, which means her face is actually upside-down on her otherwise normal head! Yikes! But Dierkes isn't the only member of WTRF hiding a congenital disorder.
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Highway Patrol Takes Labor Day Off
ST CLAIRSVILLE - Citing all the hard work the state troopers have done this year, the St. Clairsville post of the Ohio Highway Patrol has granted its entire force vacation for Labor Day.
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News 9 Sends Ryan Eldredge Into Outer Space
STEUBENVILLE - Claiming that the increased altitude will allow him to see more of the Ohio Valley than anyone in the world, producers at News 9 put reporter/anchor Ryan Eldredge onto a recently purchased Saturn V rocket originally built for the Apollo program.
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Wheeling Mayor Drowns in Ice Bucket Challenge
WHEELING - A charity event held at Heritage Port in Wheeling turned tragic when mayor Andy McKenzie got his head stuck in a 5-gallon bucket and drowned in front of terrified onlookers.
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Martins Ferry Plans to Lay Gravel on Rt. 7
MARTINS FERRY - Residents of Martins Ferry say that they are fed up with crossing the railroad tracks that pass over Route 7, and mayor Paul Riethmiller is acting on those frustrations.
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New Curfew Accidentally Set During Daytime
STEUBENVILLE - In an effort to keep children inside their houses while the adults shoot at each other outside, the city of Steubenville tried to implement a curfew. The plan was to require teenagers ages 16 and 17 to be inside between 11 p.m. and 5 a.m. However, when Steubenville mayor Domenick Mucci signed the curfew into law, he didn't notice the 'a.m.' and 'p.m.' had been switched around.
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Investigators Say Abdalla's Eyebrows Are Velcro

STEUBENVILLE - In a startling discovery, investigators in Jefferson County have concluded that the infamous eyebrows of Sheriff Fred Abdalla are actually two strips of Velcro. Lead detective Charlie Fernandez said that the findings have huge implications for every case Abdalla has worked on.

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KOOL 105's Last Fan Dies

ELM GROVE - Mary Lou Anderson, 97, of Elm Grove, W.Va. died peacefully in her sleep on Sunday afternoon. Anderson was notable for being the last living fan of Bellaire radio station WUKL KOOL 105. Dwayne Dancer, the station's daytime host, said that Anderson was a kind lady, but he is glad to finally be able to move on to new opportunities.

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Obama to Perform at Jamboree in the Hills

MORRISTOWN - Following weeks of preparation, President Barack Obama announced that he is confident he will be able to please the crowd with his upcoming performance at Jamboree in the Hills.

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Massive Traffic Light Causes Grief in WheelingNew Stop Sign in Cadiz is Only a Suggestion

Wellsburg-Brilliant Photon Beam Bridge to Open in 2177
WELLSBURG - Ohio Vallians have been whining about not having a bridge between Wellsburg, W.Va. and Brilliant, Ohio for nearly 30 years, and it finally seems that their pleas are being answered. Officials from both states agreed on Monday to begin construction on the bridge in about 150 years.
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Man Receives Dasani in Water Line
WHEELING - A mistake at the Wheeling Water Department has left one local man with an astronomical water bill. Wheeling officials noticed that their drinking water started to taste a little "funky" earlier this month, and finally realized that they had been drinking the water from the city's water treatment plant that was meant for disposal.
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Local Woman Sets DUI Record
OHIO COUNTY, W. Va - Police say that the Ohio Valley has a new heroine this morning after 45-year-old Sharon Arnett broke the world record for drunken driving. Arnett apparently had a blood-alcohol content three times higher than Anakin Skywalker's midi-chlorian count.
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Ohio Valley is World's Largest 'Friendzone'
PITTSBURGH - Call it bad luck, blame it on the economy or whatever you want. But admit it. Every married couple you know is getting a divorce. All of your single friends are downtrodden by Cupid himself, and you don't believe that there are other fish in the Ohio River. Luckily for you and your anti-depressant bill, really, really smart people at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh have figured out why.
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UFOs Possibly Seen in Steubenville

STEUBENVILLE - The Steubenville Police Department released a statement to reporters that is has been flooded with frantic callers around town claiming to see spaceships in the skies. Stewart Dawes of Follansbee sent the image to the right to several media outlets. He claims that the odd figure in the center of the picture is possibly a UFO. 
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WTRF Apologizes for False Prediction of Apocalypse
WHEELING - StormTracker 7's Dr. Dave Walker apologized on-air to the Ohio Valley after mistakenly predicting the extinction of the human race.
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Superload Just Wants to be Left Alone
MARSHALL COUNTY, W.Va - A 120 foot long, 510 thousand pound de-ethanizer tower says that she's tired of paparazzi following her around everywhere she goes.
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DHS Warns Riesbeck's Not to Run Out of Paczki
WINTERSVILLE - Citing reasons such as public safety and national interests, US Secretary of Homeland Security Jeh Johnson sent a memo warning Riesbeck's Food Market in Wintersville to not run out of paczki.

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Weirton Little League Team Selling Malaysian Plane
WEIRTON - Temperatures are on the rise, and that means that Little League season is just around the corner. However, times have been tough in the Ohio Valley, and funding a youth baseball team is not easy. Chris Gillette, manager of the Weirton Marlins, has come up with a plan that will raise more than enough money to make it through the season.
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Man Leads Police on Foot Chase Across Four States

STEUBENVILLE – Police say that 20-year-old Donnell Turner led them on a 7 week, 690 mile long chase across four states on foot. Turner reportedly fled after a police officer attempted to pull him over. Officer Shideki Matsumo said that when he approached the vehicle, Turner got out and fled.
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Abdalla Advances in American Idol
HOLLYWOOD - Sheriff Fred Abdalla turned in yet another stunning performance in this season ofAmerican Idol. This time, the Jefferson County Sheriff sung his rendition of Celine Dion's 1997 hit single 'My Heart Will Go On' from theTitanic soundtrack. The performance nearly left the judges speechless.
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Bieber Escapes Valley
WHEELING/MINGO JUNCTION TOO - Just one week into Justin Bieber's sentence to Mingo Junction, reports say that Bieber has won the Powerball and escaped the Ohio Valley.
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Pull-It Surprise Nominees Announced

WINTERSVILLE - The nominees for the 2014 Pull-It Surprise were announced at a banquet at St. Florian Hall last night. This will be the first year that the prize is given out, and the winners shall be determined by a senior panel of Ohio Valley News staff writers. 
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Prostitution Legal in Wheeling For Valentine's Day
WHEELING - Mayor Andy McKenzie says that he wants everybody in Wheeling to be able to enjoy Valentine's Day equally. On February 14, prostitution will be legal for anyone within city limits.
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Wheeling Intelligencer Published in Wingdings
WHEELING - The launch of the Intelligencer's new format (right) was plagued by a single oversight: it was published in Wingdings. Apparently, nobody in the newsroom realized that the mistake even happened, and thousands of readers across the Ohio Valley were delivered a newspaper that they could not understand.
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Provident Man Wins 35,000 Pounds of Milk
PROVIDENT - 55-year-old John Doe was shocked to hear that he was the lucky winner of United Dairy's Winter Harvest Sweepstakes. The prize was 35,000 pounds of milk delivered right through his front door.
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Exiled Justin Bieber Lands Job With ArcelorMittal Steel
MINGO JUNCTION - In response to an official White House petition that has received over 240,000 signatures, President Obama announced that he will have the Department of Homeland Security relocate Justin Bieber to Mingo Junction, Ohio.
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Disheveled Adam Del Rosso Discovered in Hut By Ohio River

STEUBENVILLE - It's a question that has been on the minds of Ohio Valley residents for years. What does WTOV-9's Adam Del Rosso do during the weekdays? The meteorologist comes in to report the weather on the weekends, then mysteriously disappears for five days in a row. Many have speculated that he doesn't exist at all, noting that he has never actually been seen in public aside from reporting for News 9.
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Ohio Switches to Metric System to Improve Cars' m/pg Ratings

COLUMBUS - In an unprecedented move yesterday, The Ohio Department of Transportation (ODOT) announced that it will now use the metric system to officially measure distances. Ohio becomes the first state in the country to join the majority of the world. ODOT Director Jerry Wray says that he decided to make the switch in order to make Ohio a better place to live.
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Death Metal Band Visits Sick Children

WHEELING - Playing music had been a lifelong dream of Allison Richland, a 10-year old from Warwood. Unfortunately, she lost the use of her most of her motor functions after a car accident left her paralyzed. Nine-year old Mitchell Reese of Wheeling Island had always wanted to attend a concert, but a battle with leukemia is forcing him to live in a hospital room.
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Steubenville Bombs Itself

STEUBENVILLE - Mayor Domenick Mucci told reporters that the nuclear bomb that went off earlier today was detonated by the fire department as part of the city's "Scare the 'S' out of Steubenville Week". The bomb exploded inside Belleview Park at noon, sending the entire town into a frenzy. 
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Loop-the-Loop Added to US 22
WEIRTON - In an effort to make commutes to Pittsburgh more amusing, the US Department of Transportation has said that it will begin remodeling US Rt. 22 between Weirton and Pittsburgh. The highway will now feature a variety of twists and turns resembling roller coasters.

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Local Reporter Releases Autobiography
STEUBENVILLE - Esther McCoy has covered breaking news in the Ohio Valley for nearly 40 years now, and she is ready to share her story. She recently signed a book deal with HarperCollins, which will be publishing her autobiographyGossip Gal: 40 Years of the Ohio Valley. In it, she discusses the challenges she faced over the course of her career, some of the most interesting things that have ever happened in the valley, and her favorite cooking recipes. 

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Axl Rose Claims Hit Song is About Bloomingdale

NEW YORK CITY - In a recent interview with Rolling Stone magazine, rock star Axl Rose claimed that his 1988 hit song Paradise City is actually about Bloomingdale, Ohio. Rose told Rolling Stone writer Andy Greene that he and Slash were big fans of the small town along U.S. Route 22.
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Channel 7 Goes Animated
WHEELING - Channel 7 has lived in the shadow of the more colorful, raunchier News 9 for many years, but station manager George Green vows to change that. On the station's 6 o'clock program, anchor Nate Fluharty announced Green's plan to make the switch to animated news.
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Jeff Oechslein Wins 'Jeff Oechslein Look-Alike Contest'
STEUBENVILLE - Jeff Oechslein won a record tenth straight 'Jeff Oechslein Look-Alike Contest' yesterday, making him the winner every year since the contest began in 2003. The meteorologist from WTOV 9 said that he never anticipated this kind of success.
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Baby Gives Birthday Presents to Charity

ST. CLAIRSVILLE - Gordon Hewitt and his wife Lynda sure were surprised when they heard their son David say that he would like to give up his birthday presents, especially because the presents were for his very first birthday.
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WTOV-9 Wins Pulitzer For Coyote Story
STEUBENVILLE - News 9 has been nominated for the Pulitzer Prize once again for 'Lamest News Coverage'. The announcement came at about 4:00 ET for their coverage of a coyote running around in Steubenville (right). 
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Archaeologists Search Near Route 7

BRILLIANT - State Route 7 has been reduced to one lane near Brilliant since March of 2011 due to excavation crews working on the hillside. At a recent meeting with the Jefferson County Board of Trustees, researchers from the Smithsonian Institution told frustrated motorists that they would just have to be patient.
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Local Gang Hosts Bake Sale to Fund Turf War

STEUBENVILLE - Notorious Steubenville gang the Chicago Boys will be taking to the streets today to raise money for their upcoming turf war over Historic North Fourth Street. The neighborhood is currently occupied by two different rival gangs and the Chicago Boys hope to change that by next weekend.
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Four White People Rob Convenient Food Mart

WHEELING - Authorities in Wheeling say that a group of white people were arrested earlier today when they held the cashier of a Convenient Food Mart at gunpoint and demanded money from the register and stole a variety of groceries.
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Salvation Army Gives Away Power Line Shoes
WHEELING - With a new school year underway and winter fast approaching, new shoes are a hot commodity. Sadly, many local families are too poor to accommodate new shoes in their budget. In fact, new shoes even drove at least seven into bankruptcy. However, The Salvation Army in Wheeling has come up with a plan to provide shoes to hundreds of kids this fall.
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Anti-Jamboree Statuses Exceed Attendance
FACEBOOK - Jamboree in the Hills wrapped up earlier this week, which means that the Valley will slip back into a depression once again. 
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Local Children Transformed Into Legos
BELLAIRE - The Plastic Brick Museum in Bellaire has been a mystery to many for ages. Nearly thirty years ago, the museum fired its entire staff and closed its gates forever. Ever since, nobody has been seen going in, or coming out.
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Wintersville Police Get Into Shootout With Steubenville Police
WINTERSVILLE - A massive firefight erupted along State Route 43 on the border of Wintersville and Steubenville at around 5:30 in the evening and continued until nearly midnight. On one side was Wintersville Police Department. On the other, the Steubenville Police Department.
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Snowbird Arrested For Child Molestation
STEUBENVILLE - "Ladies and gentlemen, we got him." These words will forever echo in the halls of the Jefferson County Jail. They were spoken by none other than Sheriff Fred Abdalla, after his department brought in the highest profile child molestation suspect of our time.
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Bigfoot Suspect In Bank Robbery
MARTINS FERRY - As the dust settles after this morning's robbery of the PNC Bank in Martins Ferry, new evidence begins to surface every minute. Police say that a witness (whose identity remains anonymous) gave her description to investigators, and the sketch reveals Bigfoot to be the new main suspect.
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Clogged Sink Floods Wheeling
WHEELING - Despite being months away from flood season, the Ohio River rose up and swallowed Wheeling Island early yesterday morning in what is expected to be the most devastating flood that the region has ever seen. 
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Smithfield Buys 1950s Style Police Car
SMITHFIELD - The Smithfield Police Department showed off its brand new police car to reporters earlier this afternoon. The car, a 1955 Chevrolet Bel-Air, is set to take to the streets of the 1 square mile town starting next week while the police department waits for it to be shipped from India. 
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WTOV-9 Renewed For Five More Seasons
STEUBENVILLE - Viewers of the valley's own daytime drama won't have to speculate what happens after last season's cliffhanger ending for much longer. NBC revealed today that WTOV 9, also known as 'News 9', has been renewed for 5 more seasons.
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Leaky BA Busted For Running Meth Labs

STEUBENVILLE - The FBI revealed in a press conference today that they have finally brought down Leaky BA, the world's largest system of meth labs. The raid was carried out FBI lead investigator Todd Harrison, simultaneously uncovering 13,493 meth labs in various homes across the valley.
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The Hills Have Eyes 3 Will Be Set In Bellaire
BELLAIRE - With the likes of The Silence of the Lambs, tv sitcomThe Fresh Prince of Bellaire and last year's Unstoppable, Bellaire is emerging as a new hot spot for Hollywood films. Mayor Vince DiFabrizio told Ohio Valley News today that yet another movie is set to begin filming in the town this summer.
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Skyscraper Opens In Brilliant
BRILLIANT - Residents of Brilliant, Ohio welcomed a new building to the town today. The Grand Opening of Burj Brilliant drew in hundreds of people from across the valley.
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