Massive Wheeling Traffic Light Causing Concerns

WHEELING - Residents of Wheeling are speaking out against what they say is a major inconvenience to daily life. The 300-foot-tall traffic light on Chapline Street is said to blind drivers and cast a glaring red, yellow or green glow across the city.

"It's a really confusing intersection," said (recently resurrected from the dead) mayor Andy McKenzie. "Plus, you have to think about the people around that spot. You have students late for classes at West Virginia Northern and crazy fitness junkies from Centre Town flying through there. It's a bad recipe."

McKenzie said he hoped that with a larger traffic light, drivers would notice red lights more often. What happened instead has caused an uproar.

"I can't even fall asleep at night because that light shines right through my bedroom window," said Paula Smith of Powhatan Point. "I don't think people north of Wheeling even realize how bright it is."

View from Chapline St.

Each signal emits a beam nearly twice as powerful as the Luxor Hotel beam in Las Vegas. At approximately 74 billion candela, they are tied with one another as the brightest beams of light in the world. Completed in 2013, the lights cost taxpayers roughly $96 an hour to operate.

While McKenzie says drivers are safer now that they can see the signal, commuters through the city have said otherwise.

"Oh I could see the signal all right," said Betsy Ginsburg as her car sank into Big Wheeling Creek. "But it doesn't help if it's literally the only thing I see."

On the other hand, supporters of the traffic light say that it is invaluable during the winter.

"Look at the rest of the valley," said Doug Crenshaw at Coleman's Fish Market. "It's been single digit weather out there and in Wheeling it's been 82 all week. How can you say no to that?"

Some citizens are very serious, however, going as far as asking the local Al-Qaeda branch for help. Al-Qaeda refused, calling the traffic signal a "protected holy site". City council has agreed to listen to complaints, however, many members have shown indifference to the matter.

"A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep," said Don Atkinson.

The city council meeting will take place 10 minutes from right now.