Thursday, April 17, 2014

Ohio Valley Will Have Estonia's Weather This Weekend

Good morning, afternoon, evening or night! We don't have to tell you what the weather's like today because you can just figure it out by going outside! Hooray!

Tomorrow, which is Friday if you forgot what comes after today, there's going to be all sorts of blowing stuff outside. Winds are expected to reach speeds close to 200 mph, so if you like NASCAR (who are we kidding, of course you do) you'll know exactly how fast we're talking about! Roger's Flea Market is expected to be in full swing tomorrow, so if you see stuff flying off of tables hurry up and grab it! It's yours!

Saturday is of course National Estonia Day and the Ohio Valley plans to honor the European country by having whatever weather Estonia does. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity for valley people to experience what life is really like in Europe.

As always, Sunday will be absolutely perfect. Ice Cube's 1993 hit song 'It Was a Good Day' will be played on repeat at full volume outside of the courthouse in Steubenville all day.

Monday will have a song of its own; 'Taps' will play once midnight strikes. You're all going to feel really pessimistic as you return to work and Wheeling officials will be handing out free SSRIs.

Thanks for choosing Storm Stalkers for your weekend weather report! From the area's worst team of meteorologists, we'll see ya next time!

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