RAYLAND - Residents of southern Jefferson county are buzzing with excitement after hearing that the Buckeye Local Panthers will be adding a new foreign exchange student from the Democratic Republic of the Congo named 'Spanky' (right) to their football team. The Panthers have been scrambling to find a spark in their offense after losing their first two games by a combined score of 85-6. Head Coach Phil Pest told Ohio Valley News that he thinks the transition will be seamless."We don't really have that much of a complicated playbook," said Pest. "It won't be hard for him to learn it by this weekend."
Pest also said that his sideline ques should resemble what Spanky is used to communicating with in the wild.
"We utilize a system of hand signals that he should recognize," said Pest as he demonstrated beating on his chest with his fists.
Spanky is currently expected to play running back in the Panthers' upcoming game at John Marshall. However, some parents are worried about their children's safety after the gorilla sent sophomore wide receiver Tyler Pruitt to the hospital.
"We've been practicing some run plays by giving Spanky the ball and having a teammate lead him to the end zone with a banana," Pest said. "Unfortunately Spanky gets overzealous sometimes."
The 16 year-old Pruitt is currently in stable condition after being beaten off of the sideline fence and hurled into the grandstands of World War II Memorial Stadium.
