Dillonvale High School Now North Korean Embassy

DILLONVALE - After 32 years of sitting empty, the decaying shell that was once Dillonvale High School (right) has been sold to the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK), more commonly referred to as North Korea. The old school building closed after the 1971 school year when the area schools consolidated into the Buckeye Local School District. Like many other buildings in the small town, it has fallen into disrepair from its abandonment. Dillonvale Mayor Shelley Dulesky told OVN that she was contacted by North Korean Premier Choe Yong-rim about purchasing the property.

"They called our office and asked about public property that was for sale," said Dulesky. "I e-mailed them back pictures of the old high school and they responded pretty enthusiastically."

Supreme Leader of the DPRK Kim Jong-un claimed that this purchase is a major victory for the country, improving upon Dillonvale-North Korea relations as it will serve as the country's embassy to the village. Kim expressed hope that his country will be able to work with the government of Dillonvale better than the US State Department.

"The new embassy mirrors the resplendent characteristics of our beautiful nation," said Kim. "Our combined powers will be a force to be reckoned with. Through our partnership we will cement our status as an economic world power."

US Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton warned the small town of 665 people that this 'is a very bad idea'.

"This completely undermines the authority of the federal government," said Clinton. "I called mayor Dulesky to tell her that she was making a mistake but she e-mailed me a picture of her with her thumbs in her ears and sticking her tongue out at me."

Newly appointed Ambassador to Dillonvale Park Young-nam told reporters what he hopes the embassy will accomplish.

"We want to use the school's old science labs to practice our new methods of uranium enrichment," Park said. "There's a ton of old science textbooks in there that we can use to further out knowledge. Another thing we are excited for is the gymnasium, which provides us a ton of space for, uh, experiments on things. It also has a big playground where we can try out our new ICBMs."

North Korea stated that local residents will be allowed to tour the building free of charge, provided that they stay on the premises for at least 25 months.