Wheeling Police: Man's 'Cocaine Pile' Revealed to be Snow

WHEELING -- Police say that a Warwood man who was put in handcuffs during a drug bust was freed after they found out that what they had initially believed to be cocaine was simply a pile of snow left over from the winter storms.

"We kicked in the door, shot some bullets around just to be sure and detained the suspect," said officer George Wilson. "He had a lot of suspicious white powder around his home that was causing concerns for some of his neighbors."

Wilson says that after he and his fellow officers smelled the pile of white powder, they discovered that it was not cocaine after all.

"I went numb immediately after I smelled it," said Wilson. "So I could tell it was extremely cold. Then I just had the best sensation wash over me. I guess it's just relief that it wasn't cocaine. I feel like I could fly right now."

Other officers reported feeling the same.

"You know, this is turning out to be the best case I've ever worked," said officer Jon Connington. "I feel like I could take on all the crime in Wheeling right now."

The rest of the interview was cut short, as our reporters could not hear anything over the loud music playing in the man's house as the officers watched cartoons with him.

"We figured we'd just chill with him for a while," officer Wilson said. "It's our way to say sorry."

JB Green Team Unveils 'Sad Squirrel' Logo Following Lawsuit

ST CLAIRSVILLE - Following the announcement of a lawsuit filed in Belmont County against JB Green Team, the company released a new logo in a plea for sympathy.

"Just look at those sad little squirrels," said program director Clifford Meyer. "You meanies hurt their feelings."

ESPN Courtroom commentator Brent Musburger told OVN that the new logo is an excellent move to buy sympathy from Belmont County common pleas judge Frank Fregatio.

"Judge Fregatio has a soft spot for woodland critters," Musburger said. "This is a huge move, but keep in mind that we don't know how Judge Solovan would react. Remember, he's the one that banned gladiator battles against lions in Shadyside."

The lawsuit was filed by attorney Christopher Gagin, who showed signs of remorse during an interview with Ohio Valley News.

"What have I done?" Gagin asked himself. "Look at what I did to those poor squirrels, they're crying their little eyes out."

Gagin then returned to the Belmont county courthouse to file a lawsuit against himself.

"Hopefully I can find closure and clean up this mess I've created," he said. "The only way to do that is to disbar myself."

A court hearing is set for April 2. Hundreds of squirrels in Belmont and Jefferson counties received subpoenas and will be required to testify under oath. Officials say that applications for squirrel translators are being accepted.