Monday, November 25, 2013

Big Red's Saccoccia Jealous He Didn't Receive Indictment

STEUBENVILLE - Big Red head football coach Reno Saccoccia told reporters today that he was upset that charges wouldn't be pressed against him as a result of the grand jury investigation into the 2012 rape case. Earlier today, Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWine announced the names of four people who are being indicted, Steubenville City Schools Superintendent Michael McVey among them. A hysterical Saccoccia attended the press conference, and took the microphone after DeWine was finished speaking.

"I knew way more about the rape than any of these idiots did," said Saccoccia. "Didn't you read the text that Trent [Mays] sent me? I hid the freaking evidence!"

An assistant football coach, an assistant wrestling coach and a teacher at West Elementary are also being charged along with McVey. Saccoccia told us that he feels he should have done more to cover up the story.

"It's not fair," said Saccoccia. "Maybe I should have threatened the little girl into lying. Perhaps I could have tried to bribe [Jefferson County Prosecutor] Tom Straus. I didn't want to try too hard because if I did, this might not have made it court."

Although it remains unclear why Saccoccia wished to be indicted, he mentioned a motivational speech that he gave to the football team earlier this year.

"I told them that next year, I'll be watching the game from a jail cell," he said. "I won't be there with my boys, my second family. So you go out there and win one for me. Go out there and win one for Trent and Malik [Richmond]."

Now it seems that the football team will lack motivation going into next season. Still, the coach says he has to remain optimistic.

"This is going to make for one boring Thanksgiving," he said. "But I'll just have to put on a big smile and weather the storm."

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