Jefferson County Inmates Stage 'Walkout' to Protest Jail Conditions

STEUBENVILLE - Inmates at the Jefferson County Jail in Steubenville are not happy about their living conditions, and they let city leaders know by holding a walkout. 62 prisoners reportedly left the building and walked down the street to the Jefferson County courthouse to peacefully protest.

"We made these neat little signs with glitter on them," said inmate Jerek Wesley. "The signs are really bright and I hope that grabs people's attention when they're driving by."

The inmates told reporters that they demand a lounge in the jail, complete with a bar and grill.

"The food sucks here man," said Kenneth Lucas. "We put in 24 hours a day in here, the least they can do is give us something edible."

Jefferson County sheriff Fred Abdalla told worried residents that the prisoners are still U.S. citizens and have the right to demonstrate their displeasure.

"It's their First Amendment right and if they want to utilize it, I'm fine with it," Abdalla said. "The last thing I need is for the prisoners to turn the tables and take me to court."

The protest lasted for about three hours before the inmates walked back to their cells without incident.

"You know, it actually went much better than I anticipated," said mayor Domenick Mucci. "I think that we should do more of these."

Some notable residents were seen among the crowd, including Big Red football coach Reno Saccoccia and coal magnate Robert Murray.

"Hey it's only a matter of time before we're in there too," Saccoccia told reporters. "So we might as well make sure it's nice and comfy."

SHOCKING! Check Out These Ohio Valley Celebs Before Photoshop!

THE WOMAN YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW
News 7's Rachael Dierkes grew up right here in the valley down in Shadyside, but have you ever noticed anything strange? It takes lots of makeup to hide it, but Dierkes was actually born with a rare condition known as face inversion, which means her face is actually upside-down on her otherwise normal head! Yikes! But Dierkes isn't the only member of WTRF hiding a congenital disorder.

THE MAN YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW
Dr. Dave Walker is known for his striking resemblance to Bill Nye the Science Guy as well as being a meteorologist for Storm Tracker 7. Thanks to an excellent A/V editing squad over at WTRF, Walker is able to hide his conjoined twin, a Mexican man named Pepe who is attached to Walker's neck. It's not only news people who are hiding deformities in the valley, though.




THE MAN YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW
Joe Zelek is a graduate of Buckeye Local High School and a very popular local country musician, but he has never hidden the fact that he is part spider. Before performances, Zelek uses a special mask to hide his six extra eyes. However, in music videos these are usually edited out. Joe has always said that his biggest wish was that he would have been born with eight arms instead of eight eyes, that way he could play all of the instruments in his songs at once! If you thought that was shocking, check out some of these other wacky celebs!






THE MAN YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW
Fred Abdalla has been sheriff of Jefferson County for a long time, like a really long time! Most of the general public think they know what he looks like, but did you know it's all a ruse? Abdalla simply uses a combination of makeup and photoshop to blend in with the crowd, and so criminals don't know what he looks like when he's off the job. Here he is on vacation sunbathing in the Ohio River! Think he's the only local politician who uses a disguise? You thought wrong!

THE MAN YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW
Lou Gentile is the Senator for the 30th district in the Ohio General Assembly, but do any of you know where he originated from? Gentile is actually a cartoon character from a long ago cancelled TV series on Adult Swim. Who knew? Well, nobody did until old footage surfaced of a tossed pilot episode of a shelved series named Boink-Boink! When confronted about it, Gentile publicly admitted last month that he really was animated and issued an apology. What could possibly top that you ask?







THE MAN YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW
Robert Murray is an ancient demon from under the surface of Earth who rises every thousand years to harvest the souls of job seeking Americans and trap them underground in his lair. Of course, everybody already knows this (what, have you been living under a rock!?), but it takes a team of 14 photoshoppers to alter Murray's appearance to make him look human. The more you know!

BREAKING: Sheriff Abdalla's Eyebrows Really Are Made From Velcro

STEUBENVILLE - In a startling discovery, investigators in Jefferson County have concluded that the infamous eyebrows of Sheriff Fred Abdalla are actually two strips of Velcro. Lead detective Charlie Fernandez said that the findings have huge implications for every case Abdalla has worked on.

"Every single indictment that the Jefferson County Sheriff's department has been involved with has to be reviewed now," he said. "We have to make sure that he never illegally obtained evidence using his eyebrows."

Indeed, sheriff's deputies working under Abdalla have been suspicious for years. Deputy Mike Svenkolovski said that Abdalla's knack for finding evidence was almost immaculate.

"We'd walk into a suspect's house and ask him some questions," said Svenkolvski. "We wouldn't have a warrant to search the place or anything, but somehow he was always able to snatch something. I remember one time we went into a man's house who was suspected of rape. When we left, Fred had a tissue stuck to his face. He told me he got all the evidence he needed."

Abdalla's eligibility to run for sheriff has also been called into question. Because the eyebrows are not natural hair, some in the Ohio Valley are wondering if Abdalla is even entirely human.

"Technically, if the reports are found to be truthful it would make Abdalla a cyborg," said Dr. Smith Bill. Dr. Bill is an anthropology professor at Franciscan University of Steubenville. "According to state laws, only a human being can run for office."

In 1974, the Ohio Supreme Court ruled that the city of Toronto could not elect a chicken into the mayor's office. If that case sets precedence, Abdalla could be forced to retire.

Sheriff Abdalla Advances Again in American Idol

HOLLYWOOD - Sheriff Fred Abdalla turned in yet

another stunning performance in this season of American Idol. This time, the Jefferson County Sheriff sung his rendition of Celine Dion's 1997 hit single 'My Heart Will Go On' from the Titanic soundtrack. The performance nearly left the judges speechless.

"You totally killed it!" said Jennifer Lopez. "The pure, raw emotion that you put behind that performance was almost indescribable."

Abdalla dedicated the song to the hacker collective 'Anonymous', the hacker collective that helped expose details of the Steubenville rape case.

"Anonymous," he said in a soft tone while slowly raising his head from the ground. "I know you're watching. I know where you are and this song is for you."

Abdalla even personalized the song by adding his own lyrics.

"Near, far, wherever you are," he sang, melting the hearts of every woman in the audience. "Believe that my search goes on and on."

If you missed Abdalla's performance, you can watch it as well as extra behind the scenes footage when his show, Super Fred, airs on Friday. The episode will feature the much talked about, but deleted, scene where Abdalla shot and killed a heckler in the audience.