West Virginia Raises Drinking Age to 18

WHEELING -- Riots have erupted in the streets of Wheeling after the West Virginia Legislature unanimously voted to raise the drinking age from 10 to 18. Local blue-collar workers say that they've had enough of the government interfering with their way of life.

"I work 60-hour work weeks on the pipeline just to feed my family," said 14-year-old Connor Armstrong. "Is it too much for me to ask to drink a case when I get done?"

Wheeling police officers told reporters that they were ready for the riots, having planned weeks in advance.

"Basically, we're going to sit back here and watch," said police chief Shawn Schwertfeger. "Eventually they'll get tired and go home."

Conversely, fireman Craig Morrison said that the fire department is taking extra precautions due to the massive fire hazard posed by the crowd.

"If they start burning things, we're all screwed," he said. "AXE body spray is extremely explosive. If that crowd gets too close to a fire, expect a full-scale nuclear winter."