Steubenville Terrorizes Citizens to Prepare for Halloween

STEUBENVILLE - Mayor Domenick Mucci told reporters that the nuclear bomb that went off earlier today was detonated by the fire department as part of the city's "Scare the 'S' out of Steubenville Week". The bomb exploded inside Belleview Park at noon, sending the entire town into a frenzy. Schools sent home students early and businesses shut down, fearing a terrorist invasion. Mucci says that the madness was worth the hassle.

"It was just marvelous," he said as he clapped his hands and hopped on his feet. "We've been having so much fun this week; I can't wait to show you guys what we have planned for tomorrow!"

The city council has been staging various crimes this week to create mass hysteria in the build up to this year's Halloween festivities. Two stabbings have already taken since Sunday, and Mucci says that things are just getting started.

"Tomorrow, we're going to send out undercover police officers to kidnap children on their way to school," Mucci (pictured left) said with a grin. "Imagine how terrified the kids are going to be! And the parents! It's going to be hilarious!"

So far, public reception of the charade has been overwhelmingly positive. Parents have said it makes their boring lives in small town Ohio that much more fun.

"I was crying like a little baby when I went to go pick up my 5-year old from school," said Debby Nardo, whose daughter attends Pugliese Elementary School. "I didn't know whether she was alive or dead. Then the news broke that the bomb was a joke and I couldn't help but laugh."

Critics, however, say that the city may be subject to liability lawsuits in the death of 38-year-old Martin Douglas, who was stabbed in a back alley by local volunteers.

"Yeah, the family's pretty upset with me right now," Mucci said. "But it's all in jest. One day they'll look back at this and laugh."