Showing posts with label Kevin Carter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kevin Carter. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Terrified Ryan Eldredge Forced Onto News 9 Rocket

STEUBENVILLE - Claiming that the increased altitude will allow him to see more of the Ohio Valley than anyone in the world, producers at News 9 put reporter/anchor Ryan Eldredge onto a recently purchased Saturn V rocket originally built for the Apollo program.

"This is going to help out our weather reports a great deal," said chief meteorologist Kevin Carter. "He'll be up above the clouds and can witness weather patterns first hand."

Eldredge protested that idea as he was being shoved into the rocket.

"I don't know anything about meteorology!" he screamed, kicking at his captors.

Erica Mokay told Ohio Valley News that having Eldredge in the sky will allow the news team to bring breaking news to viewers faster than ever.

"We cover a pretty large territory," she said. "Ryan Eldredge has like 20/5 vision. He can read the teleprompter from 400 feet away!"

Again, Eldredge offered a rebuttal.

"I was using binoculars! Please let me go!" he shouted to whomever would listen.

Rob Metzger said Eldredge will help fill a large hole left by the hospitalized Aly Cohen.

"Aly lost her gun duel with Fred Abdalla," said Metzger. "Luckily all 37 shots missed her vital organs and she's in stable condition. At least we'll have Ryan in the sky watching every game at once."

Eldredge begged to differ.

"How am I supposed to watch a football game from outer space?" he contested.

Also, due to budget cuts, the module Eldredge was supposed to ride in was scrapped at the junkyard. The news team was forced to tie him onto the rocket's exterior with ratchet straps.

"Please!" Eldredge yelled, to no avail. "Let me down! I'm scared of heights!"

His colleagues stood by and drank banana coladas as they watched their coworker venture into the unknown.

"Bye-bye Ryan!" yelled Crissy Clutter as she waved enthusiastically.

Eldredge is scheduled to land in the Pacific Ocean in about 3 years.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Disheveled Adam Del Rosso Spotted in Hut Near Ohio River

STEUBENVILLE - It's a question that has been on the minds of Ohio Valley residents for years. What does WTOV-9's Adam Del Rosso do during the weekdays? The meteorologist comes in to report the weather on the weekends, then mysteriously disappears for five days in a row. Many have speculated that he doesn't exist at all, noting that he has never actually been seen in public aside from reporting for News 9. For this special report we teamed up with Del Rosso's friend and colleague, Kevin Carter, to find out where it is he runs off to during his days off.

"Adam is an incredibly professional meteorologist," said Carter. "He's very photogenic, you know? He just looks like he was born to be on television."

Del Rosso joined News 9 in 2011, but in all his time there he has not shown up to a single event outside of where WTOV sends him.

"We've had Christmas parties and there have been birthday parties, but Adam's always nowhere to be seen," Carter said. "Jeff [Oechslein] and I always thought that maybe he was just anti-social, but one day he showed up to work looking like a mess."

Carter took a picture (right) of Del Rosso and showed it to the rest of the staff, raising concerns about his well-being.

"The odd thing was," said Carter. "He just sort of shrugged his shoulders and muttered something at me. He went into the bathroom and ten minutes later he came out looking absolutely normal. That's when I knew I had to find out what was going on."

Carter joined a team of OVN reporters as we followed Del Rosso last week after his Sunday weather report. He drove down to the Ohio River, walked through the woods and into a hut (pictured above). We waited outside until the next morning before finally approaching him with caution.

"I was absolutely shocked," Carter said. "I still can't believe he lives in a hut by the river."

When he spotted us, Del Rosso was sharpening a spear and wearing nothing but a loincloth. His beard had already grown back and he seemed startled to see that we discovered his whereabouts.

"It was almost as if he'd seen a ghost," said Carter. "I was worried he might attack us for a moment."

As if the situation wasn't peculiar enough, Del Rosso spoke in a strange, guttural tribal language. He would not address us in English, but he did show us around his residence. There was a small fire cackling next to his hut, where he had some squirrels and rabbits roasting for dinner.

"What really got me were his rock paintings," Carter said. "I had no idea that's how he accurately predicts the valley's weather."

On a large boulder next to his hut were a series of paintings (left) that seemed to reflect Del Rosso's weather forecasts. There were several drawings of the sun and moon, as well as depictions of various gods and goddesses from around the world.

After showing us his establishment, Del Rosso beckoned us toward the river, where he dove into the icy currents without hesitation. He resurfaced nearly a minute later with a fish in his mouth.

"You know something, that was the best fish fillet I've ever eaten in my entire life," said Carter as he drove us through Steubenville on the ride home.

We returned to the WTOV-9 studios the next weekend to discuss the visit with Del Rosso. He showed up to work looking as if nothing strange had happened. When we asked him to talk about the past weekend, he seemed bewildered.

"What on Earth are you talking about?" asked Del Rosso. "I live in a house in town. You must be mistaking me for someone else."

Later that day, the News 9 team stared in shock as a pair of salamanders escaped from Del Rosso's pocket and ran free in the studio.