Steubenville Police Getting Bored of Shootings

STEUBENVILLE - In a press conference early Saturday morning, Steubenville police chief Bill McAfferty urged local criminals to be more creative.

"I never thought my life was going to go this way," said McAfferty. "Life's getting boring around Steubenville because there's pretty much just shootings every day."

For motivation, McAfferty pointed criminals toward video games.

"Haven't you guys played Grand Theft Auto V?" he asked. "Go rob a bank! Steal a helicopter! If you want a rival gang member dead, wouldn't the job be much easier with Hellfire missiles?"

McAfferty told reporters that he wants to live out his dream 'cop scenario' before he retires.

"You should go kidnap a small child under the age of 10, and hold her at gunpoint while you rob the bank," he said. "And it would be really cool if you could hide a bomb somewhere in the Martin Luther King Recreation Center as a distraction."

He also hinted that he would not be opposed to a city-wide riot and releasing all the prisoners in the Jefferson County Jail.

"The secret passcode to get access is located in a briefcase hidden in Fort Steuben," he said. "All you have to do is put the code in at the jail and you'll release all the prisoners!"

Steubenville Accidentally Sets New Curfew For Daytime Instead of Night

STEUBENVILLE - In an effort to keep children inside their houses while the adults shoot at each other outside, the city of Steubenville tried to implement a curfew. The plan was to require teenagers ages 16 and 17 to be inside between 11 p.m. and 5 a.m. However, when Steubenville mayor Domenick Mucci signed the curfew into law, he didn't notice the 'a.m.' and 'p.m.' had been switched around.

"Oh son of a bitch!" Mucci screamed when the error was pointed out by News 7 reporter D.K. Wright at a news conference.

As it stands, teens in Steubenville must be inside their homes by 11 in the morning, and stay inside until 5 in the afternoon. When asked if the city police department could simply ignore the new law, Mucci said that it was impossible.

"No, no, no that's not how any of this works," he said. "If we want to change the times for the curfew, we have to draft up a whole new one. Then we have to deliberate. Then we have to listen to [Steubenville councilman] Gerald DiLoreto talk about why we don't need a curfew. Then we have to hold a town hall meeting. Then we need to vote again. Trust me, Bill McCafferty really doesn't listen to me."

Police Chief William McCafferty said that he understands that the city council made a mistake, but he is also sworn to uphold the law.

"Look, they made a typo, I get it," said McCafferty. "But the law's the law, and this is the law now. If you're a teenager and you're outside during the day, you're going to be arrested."

McCafferty said that the curfew was drafted after a teenager was found with 20 bags of heroin during a traffic stop.

"All we ask is that if the kids are going to use heroin, they need to use it within the safety of their own homes," said McCafferty.

Melinda Young, Steubenville City School's interim superintendent, said that the mistake means that school will have to be held in the early morning hours.

"We can't force the kids to go outside and break the law," she said. "So school will now be held from 10 at night until 5:30 in the morning."