OVMC Urges Parents to Talk to Kids About 'Ebola Challenge'

WHEELING - It's the latest internet craze, and officials at the Ohio Valley Medical Center are wondering if anyone is going to try it. According to Dr. Harrison Purple, videos are going to start popping up of teens injecting themselves with the deadly virus.

"Ebola is an incredibly risky thing to put in your body," he said. "The mortality rate is thought to be as high as 90 percent. We all know how stupid our kids are. Teens like to live recklessly, and if I were young still I'd definitely be giving it a try."

Dr. Purple's statements in The Herald Star sent paranoid parents around the Ohio Valley into a massive hysteria. Wintersville resident Bertha Connors said she even had to ground her daughter.

"My daughter is a dolt if you ask me," she said. "She drives her car over the speed limit, and I think she drinks alcohol sometimes and engages in sexual copulation. I even had to take her to the emergency room last year after she inhaled some secondhand marijuana."

New superintendent of the Indian Creek School District John Rocchi said that combating the Ebola Challenge will be a top priority for the upcoming school year.

"We installed a new shower system at every entrance to the high school," said Rocchi. "The showers will hose down every student with Clorox bleach every time they enter the premises."

Clorox has become a sponsor for the school district after agreeing to use the brand for its disinfection system.