Lauttamus Security Battle Droids Cause Controversy in the Ohio Valley

WEIRTON - A Hancock County judge will hear a class-action lawsuit tomorrow filed by the American Civil Liberties Union against Lauttamus Communications. The lawsuit seeks compensation for damages to property, injuries and death caused by the company's recent line of security battle droids. West Virginia ACLU president Marybeth Beller says that the state has ignored many laws broken by the company.

"It's completely irresponsible," she said. "The Northern Panhandle has become a war zone lately and our elected officials have done absolutely nothing to address the problem."

Last week, Weirton residents protested in front Lauttamus's corporate office after a security bot incinerated a 90-year-old man who was sniffing flowers on private property. Governor Earl Ray Tomblin addressed the issue, saying that a referendum passed by popular vote allowing this type of vigilantism.

"This is what West Virginia wanted," said Tomblin. "That man, like it or not, was trespassing in order to smell those flowers."

The referendum adjusted West Virginia's castle laws last year, allowing residents to deal with trespassers in whatever manner they deemed necessary.

"You just never know what people on your property might be up to," said Tomblin. "The safety of any West Virginian's family always comes first in my book."

Amid Hancock County's controversial public smoking ban, Lauttamus announced today that all security battle droids will be fitted with smoke detectors and heat seeking missiles free of charge.