Michael Bay Directs Mock Accident at Weir High

WEIRTON - In an effort to reduce the risk of students drinking and driving at this year's prom, Weir High decided to step things up a notch. Susan Smith, superintendent for the Hancock County School District, said that standard mock accidents generally don't get the point across to students.

"This year, we concluded that we really needed to traumatize students," she said. "So we hired Hollywood special effects expert and director Michael Bay to coordinate this year's accident."

The mock scene began with a group of friends leaving a house party after prom night. They got in a car while joking that their 'designated drunk driver' was inebriated. Another student jumped in the car with a keg and inserted the tap into the driver's mouth.

"It's a little variant on the keg stand," Bay said. "You get in the car with the keg and then chug while driving. We used to do it all the time in high school."

The car was travelling at speeds over 90 mph, according to Bay. It sped through the high school's parking lot before running over an old woman in a wheelchair.

"And she had this crazy backstory we told the students too," said Bay. "She's just coming out of her nursing home to see the birth of her great-grandson, only she doesn't make it there."

The collision sent the old woman flying from the school all the way into the Ohio River. The car then lost control and slammed into parked cars where it exploded and shot 20 feet into the air.

"It was so awesome," said student president Greene Brian. "There were body parts flying everywhere out of that thing! The wreckage even landed on the principal's car!"

A Life Flight helicopter then attempted a landing, but it was too close to the car when its gas tank exploded, sending the helicopter spiraling out of control until it collided with the school. The helicopter dangled on the edge of the roof, threatening to fall while the crew waited inside helplessly.

"Then we rushed the students over to this little set we built," Bay said. "And there was this guy in there that screamed: 'We have to get them out of there!'"

Smith said that she thinks the program was a success.

"I hope that the students learned something today," she said. "Hopefully this will make them think twice about drinking and driving."

Greene Brian said that he and his friends enjoyed the mock accident.

"Man that was a heck of a show," said Brian. "I wonder if he'll come back for the sequel. Too bad I'm graduating, Homecoming would be the perfect setup."

Weir High Gives Out Handguns to Students to Protect Against School Shootings

WEIRTON - Following the arrest of a 15-year-old girl for entering the school with a loaded firearm on Wednesday, Hancock County school officials told OVN that they will not let an incident like this threaten the safety of their students. Starting today, students at Weir High will receive their very own sidearm to protect themselves in the event of a school emergency.

"The only thing that can stop a bad student with a gun is a good student with a gun," said Hancock County Superintendent Suzan Smith. "If a crazed student runs into a classroom with 20 kids inside, do you really think one armed teacher is enough to stop him? What do you think the odds are of him lasting long if every student in the room is pointing a gun at him?"

The decision was praised by every single person in Weirton; Smith received exactly 19,746 (equal to the 2010 census) emails showing support for her decision.

"Obviously there will have to be some gun safety classes added to our curriculum," Smith said. "Just this morning a student left school, got locked out and shot the lock off the front door to get back in. We also had an incident where a student could not get a teacher's attention, so she shot her gun into the ceiling."

Smith also mentioned that she predicts the guns to ameliorate the bullying problem at Weir High.

"Usually a student bullies another because he's bigger than they are," she said. "But having a handgun evens the playing field. We won't punish students for simply defending themselves."

She also said that the new program lets the district cut more jobs than originally thought was possible.

"We were able to fire our guidance counselor this morning," Smith said with a smile. "There simply isn't a need for her services anymore."

Students seemed to be excited about the new program when we interviewed them after school.

"I'm so happy that the school board did this," said senior Kelly Bishop. "Now if that slut Danielle makes another move towards my boyfriend she is so going to get it."

Students are allowed to select either the Heckler & Koch USP or the Glock 17, and can choose the color of their gun from either blue, green, red, yellow, pink or 'School Pride' (red and black with school logo) for an extra $5.