Tim Tebow Traded to St. John Central

BELLAIRE - Call the luck of the Irish if you will, but you cannot deny the negotiating genius of second year head coach Jason Merryman of Bellaire's St. John Central football team. On Saturday, the Irish concluded talks with the New York Jets to trade field goal holder Robbie Dunleavy for quarterback Tim Tebow. Tebow is coming off a terrific year warming the bench for Mark Sanchez and Greg McIlroy, a role he hopes he can perform better at St. John's. Tebow also believes that St. John's will be able to better utilize his Christianity abilities as well, something he struggled with in New York.

"I'm really excited for the opportunity to play for the Irish," said an overjoyed Tebow at yesterday's press conference. "St. John's has its own on-site church, which to me is more important than any other factor right now."

On the other side of the deal sits Dunleavy, who did not show much enthusiasm in playing for Rex Ryan's team. Dunleavy will be taken away from his parents and must now live in an apartment by himself in New Jersey. The 6'9", 117 pound freshman currently struggles with anorexia, and coach Ryan thinks that will be an important factor when Dunleavy makes the transition.

"We're planning on moving Robbie to starting tailback," Ryan told reporters. "He's so skinny that you can barely see him, so we're thinking that he might be able to score a touchdown every time he gets the ball."

The 14 year-old Dunleavy also has complications from a botched heart transplant, which Ryan thinks will also work to Dunleavy's advantage.

"It's going to make defenders scared to hit him if they even see him," Ryan said with a slight grin. "If they hit him too hard then he'll die, and I'm pretty sure [NFL commissioner] Goodell's got a hefty fine for that."

When asked whether or not Dunleavy will even want to play for the Jets due to the heavy odds against him, Ryan said that he doesn't think it will concern him.

"He doesn't understand that," Ryan laughed. "He has autism."

"I'll be praying for him," Tebow said when asked about Dunleavy.