This Year's Anti-Jamboree Statuses Exceed Attendance

FACEBOOK - Jamboree in the Hills wrapped up earlier this week, which means that the Valley will slip back into a depression once again. Notwithstanding the major economic influx that the festival brings to the area, many people take to social media to show their distaste. In fact, a student from MIT recently pulled together a stat that will shock many. The number of statuses on Facebook and Twitter actually surpassed the amount of people who attended the event.

"It is quite amazing," said Matthew McDooglestein, the student who worked this all out. "There is a substantial amount of people who care enough about not caring about Jambo that they all got this urge to tell the world that they don't care. What's even more surprising is that nobody cares that that person doesn't care!"

The anomaly actually created a hole in the space time continuum, but because nobody cared about it either, it just sadly disappeared. The day before Jamboree in the Hills has now officially been dubbed as "National I Don't Care Day", where everyone gets to express how much they don't care about anything.

"I went to Jamboree in the Hills," said an anonymous person who randomly called us today. "But I only went to see Ron Retzer."

Retzer's performance was the only one to nearly top the amount of 'I Don't Care' statuses, especially when he played his hit song "Paddling My Boat Down a Creek", which is also the only Retzer song to contain profanity. Jambo officials told us that they are working on overhauling next year's show.

"We're working on overhauling next year's show," said chairman Bob Jacobs, who obviously lacks creativity. "We're working on setting up a duet with Toby Keith and Lil Wayne, a set with 3OH!3, and a country performance from Justin Bieber."